Here i am

Here i sit all fat and wise, i must be in an old man disguise. I did not think life would be like this, my world, i sure do miss. My headaches, they come and go, my belly fat can surely grow. What i miss about my life, besides sitting with my lovely wife. I miss the things i use to could, I sit and wonder, did i wonder? Now that all the excitement has all but passed, all my family has gone back home. It does not matter, in my head, i am already alone.

Happy Days!

No not the T.V. series, but what a hoot that was. i've been trying to be more acive lately and it's pooping me out! ugh! Oh well, i have to keep chugging along. Lately the hallucinnations have been coming back or more like not knowing the difference between dreaming and real life. Go ahead laugh, i am sure you all think it cant happen, but let me tell you it does! Robyn and Kevin stoppped by the other day un-announced, no they didn't really, but in my world they did, i hear the chuckles. Staying on topic during a conversation is getting more difficult. So, you say, Chad< how can you write about this stuff if you don't remember it. There are a couple of ways, one being the most likely is that i am reminded of it happening, two, after an un-specified time, i actually remember. I sometimes know i know the answer to the question, but in order for the answer to process, i have to ask the question again. I am Happy today.

lazy

I have not been doing my duty of blogging lately so im going to try and catch up. Last month i went to the Mayo clinic in Minnesota for further test and studies to nail down my prognosis. I had several reservations about it for many reasons. My current doctors are very educated and knowledgable about my disease. I am really tired of being a guinea pig. But, i was hoping to, well lets just hoping. I am not sure what i was hoping for, but i often believe if it was not for hope, what we would have? Answers? Solutions? The Mayo clinic is an extrodinary place, from the underground subways one to two stroies undergound to the skyways three to four stories above it. all of these transportation modes linked many, many buildings together from a mall to a hospital to research dept.s to restaurants oh my! red lobster was there, quiznos, coffee shops, cafeteria and so on. I would say 98% of the people we encountered from information booths to coffee baristas to the medical staff on all levels were outstanding. The best way to describe this place is to go and see it. Online pictures are great, maps are fine, but to actually be enveloped into this mass organized hysteria and to consider all of the people this place helps, is truley remarkable. Thank you Mayo clinic.

The Hairy Girl- is that a real memory?

I have been remembering a lot of little things lately, and I wonder sometimes if I am remembering or am I just remembering a story someone told me. How do we really know. If someone told us and we remember it, does that make it less a memory? Like the games we used to play as kids. I remember sometimes I would play by myself cuz Misti and Chad didn't want to play Barbies, they wanted to play more physical games. That was ok. I was listening to them talk about some of the stuff they used to do and I had no memory of it what so ever. I really wasn't there. I was off by myself while they were on their adventures. That was ok then and it is still ok now. We still have plenty of memeories to go around. Chad and I went on a "vacation" with Mamaw and Poppie. I have mentioned it before. It was a two week long journey into....well it was a journey. Plenty of laughs, plenty of omigosh not Shoney's again. One of the places we visited was Cypress Gardens in Florida. It was a beautiful if not very touristy "garden"/Lots of beautiful plants, flowers, and some animals. But what I remember most is the "hairy girl". The place was full of young ladies who were dressed like southern belles. They were everywhere. Mamaw and Poppie were quite insistent that Chad have his picture taken with one of the pretty ladies. So they sort of made him go up to one and ask for a picture. Or they asked her, not sure on that. Anyway, she was sitting on a bench and Chad went behind her for the picture. "Smile", I'm not sure if you could actually call it a smile...lol! When he came back over to us, I asked him if she was pretty and he said, not really, just 'Hairy'...hairy? Yes, she had hair all over her back and shoulders....I laughed so hard I thought I would pass out. This could only happen to one of us of course, leave to Mamaw to pick the hairy girl, right?!! laughing still...was that a real memory?.....I do believe it was.